Dear Frankie,

Can we talk about Adoption?

This topic plays a big part in both our lives, me being an adoptive mother and you being an adopted daughter, there can’t be one of us without the other and that’s what connects our life stories, that’s what makes our relationship extra special I think.

Adopting a kid isn’t easy and it’s far from straight forward, for me, it took 5 years to seriously get my head around the idea, 8 years to save up enough money to afford to support you and 3 years to complete all the paperwork.  I started our adoption story years before you were even born Frankie. 

You were most certainly a planned baby my Love.

For the first part of our journey, I was all by myself but I knew at some point, you would be joining me, well technically at this point I didn’t know it would be you personally but I knew you were going to be either a boy or a girl and I knew you’d be under 2.

I first found out all about you and your birth heritage as I was upstairs in my office doing my tax returns.  The phone rang and my social worker said…

‘Hi Lucia, I think we may have a match.’

I’d never had a phone call like it, my heart started beating faster and my legs went to jelly. I’ve heard that when Birth Mums go into labour it’s a similar feeling for them too.

We were a match, a perfect match and a few months later, I brought you home. This is when our lives merged and our life stories synced. 

I’ve documented it from the beginning and as a writer in the public domain, I plan to continue to tell our story for ever and a day because it’s a beautiful story, it really is.

We are up to chapter 10 nearly 11 and our story just keeps getting better and better.

Now when I was sitting at my desk, bored to tears, filling in my tax return that day, you know, when my lovely hardworking social worker made our introduction, I had absolutely no idea that 5 years later another Mother would come into your life and help me to raise you.

Trust me, it was a shock to me too, but that’s life, unpredictable, twisting, turning, changing, growing.

Soon Mama J will be able to start all the legal paperwork again. She’s tried to get the ball rolling on many occasions to formally adopt you but life has thrown us a few curve balls recently and it’s taken time to sort out the important stuff, always making sure your foundation remains solid and you are fully protected.

There won’t be as much paperwork this time round but it will still take a few months from start to finish and this time you actually have a say about it.

Social workers, police officers, nurses, doctors, foster carers, panels of kind professional people came together on your behalf, but this time it’s different.

This adoption needs your approval and won’t happen unless you are happy to adopt Mama J too.

I know you want to adopt her, you said Yes, when she asked if she could be your other Mum when we were in Spain a few years ago, do you remember?

She went down on one knee like Prince Charming and offered you a silver slipper.

You accepted her offer and you danced the night away together in those beautiful silver slippers.

Watching you both dance together was one of my most favourite moments in life.

She has been working really hard as you know to make that offer a reality but sadly along the way she’s been discovering that some of the closest people to her don’t fully understand how adoption works and what an incredible lifelong commitment it is.

You were removed from birth family for reasons of risk of neglect and abuse and at no point will Mama J and I ever put you in a position where you would be at risk again.  

This is why the process is taking longer than we had anticipated.  

Together we are safe guarding you and protecting your future so it continues to be filled with safe and happy experiences throughout your childhood and beyond.

I will continue to only introduce people into your life who enhance it.

Last month you became an adoptive Mum too.  You brought Dennis home and have been the most incredible Mother to him since the moment you picked him up and kissed his wet nose.

We are creating a cycle of love Frankie, a cycle of responsibility, of commitment and loyalty.

I think our family is incredible and adoption is the most beautiful word in the world.

This is why I will always share our story and will always encourage you to do so too.

Forever yours,

Mum x
28/04/2022