Dear Frankie,

Can we talk about boys?

Did you know that crushes may occur at any time during your childhood, but they generally start at around 10-13 years of age. 

These feelings are completely natural and they are nothing to feel worried or embarrassed about.

A crush also known as ‘puppy love’ is an informal term for feelings of romantic love, often felt during childhood and early adolescence.

I myself had lots of crushes on boys growing up. I became impressed with some of their strengths and attributes as I entered my tween years and all of a sudden, it seemed as if boys went from being overly competitive and annoying to cute, kind and considerate all in one night.

You might feel butterflies in your tummy when you talk to boys, I did, you might blush when they smile at you or pay you a lovely compliment. 

You might even have feelings of jealousy if a boy you like spends more time and shows interest in someone else.

Puppy love typically lasts between 2 months and 2 years, and is thought to be fueled by preadolescent hormones. 

Some top scientists, however, think it starts as a result of the natural development of the brain at the onset of preadolescence.

Crushes are perfectly natural feelings and are an important step in developing normal and healthy romantic relationships.  They can provide opportunities to learn how to compromise and communicate effectively.

These are important key factors to consider in any future relationships you may have in your mid teen years and beyond.

Now, growing up I was never told that boys could have crushes on boys and that girls could have crushes on girls and yet…

They did back then and they still can do today and that’s normal and healthy too.

I wish I was told that when I was your age, but generations before mine weren’t encouraged to talk about such diversity, in fact many were actively discouraged and told it was unnatural, which was very wrong and very confusing for lots of young people.

I’m so fortunate to be able to help guide you in a time and place where all feelings and emotions can be discussed with children openly and in a much more honest and sensitive way.

You might have heard the old nursery rhyme, ‘What are little boys made of?’

Well I can tell you categorically that they are not made of frogs and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails, that’s for certain.

That’s not what little boys are made of at all.

They are made up of all the same good stuff girls are…

Kindness, courage and love.

Forever yours,

Mum x

31/03/2022