Dear Frankie,

Your safety and well being are two of my main priorities and I believe it’s my responsibility to try my very best to prioritise these for you and any other children who come into my care.

As a 50 year old woman, I would feel a lot safer in this world if people stopped focusing on discriminating trans women and instead agreed to us all using public toilets that were a non gendered cubicle.

Everyone is entitled to privacy.

As it stands in 2024, if a cis man impersonating a woman has the intent of targeting me in a female toilet then a trans woman might not be there to perhaps raise the alarm and help me like any other concerned citizen might.

Haven’t Commercial Airlines already proven that non gendered cubicles are better for everyone?

We flew together on 2 return flights to the US this year, how lucky are we when around 90% of the world’s population has never taken off and landed in another country like we have had the opportunity to.

Only around 5% of the world’s population have flown transatlantic too.

Last year, the Global Airline industry carried an estimated 4.5 billion passengers.

The only thing that frightens me when using the toilet on a plane is the noise from the suction pump and over dramatic flush.

Oh and the fleeting thought of crashing.

I remind myself of the statistics though, that apparently we are 19 times more safe travelling on the plane than in the taxi taking us to the airport.

I enjoy flying and feel it’s a great privilege to be able to travel overseas and whilst doing so, fearing a trans passenger on board has never entered my head.

Why should it?

It’s ridiculous that’s why.

But that flush makes me jump every time and I always double check where the emergency exit doors are just in case I need to use the inflatable slide thingy.

But let’s keep things simple, let’s talk about going to the loo.

Back on the ground, perhaps if we made urinals a thing of the past, this could be the focus of the discussion, I mean haven’t women been peeing standing up too all this time?

Only we do it behind a closed door not in a long line facing the wall.

Should we really be encouraging men and boys to stand and pee in public?

I have tried to avoid sitting down on a public toilet seat since my legs were long enough to straddle.

I got lots of practice growing up while bombing around Gatley on my Raleigh Gypsy.

My bum rarely touched the seat.

Always stood up on the pedals, my calves were like steel.

A 2014 study by researchers from the department of urology at Leiden University Medical Center found that men who sat down to pee were able to empty their bladders faster and more effectively.

That’s because when you stand, you activate muscles in your pelvis and spine, but they’re completely relaxed when you sit.

I think we should be shifting the focus to urology issues and away from discrimination.

We need an all inclusive solution and I believe together we can find one.

Do we sit down and do nothing or do we unite and make a stand once and for all?

What do you think Frankie?

Forever yours,

Mum x