‘Why is it Mum, when you see a group of lesbians  together on TV, they are always in prison? 

We’re not all ‘Bad Girls’ surely?’

‘Certainly not!’ She crunched.

‘If you think about it, perhaps the reason we all assume lesbians wear dungarees and boiler suits is because we’ve been type cast as criminals in early TV culture.

‘Could be, but dungarees are very practical aren’t they, you loved your dungarees, you lived in them love.’

‘True ,’ I slurped.

‘It’s not fair, lesbians can do so much more than ‘serve time’ on our screens though, we can serve the nation. 

We can present dog shows, chat shows and now even quiz shows, we’re just not allowed  in groups like ‘Loose Women’ yet.  And It appears we are not allowed to be in rows or panels.’

‘I think you might be reading a bit too much into this love,’ she crunched.

‘No seriously Mum, I’ve noticed we can be in a line, but only if it’s in front of a parole board!  If we are going to be grouped together then you will find us eating 3 square meals a day in ‘Wentworth’ or ‘Orange is the New Black.’

‘Orange is the now what?’

‘For years it’s been easier for TV to play it safe and just put us behind bars, sadly not light hearted funny ones like ‘Cheers’ though.

I loved Cheers.

‘And while characters like Ross and Rachel were giggling and sipping coffee with ‘Friends,’ Prisoner Cell Block H fans were watching lesbian inmates pulling each other’s hair out and inflicting Chinese burns in an attempt to get out of a headlock.’

‘Ooh why are you watching that?’ Mum scowled. ‘Angela Lansbury‘s on in a minute.’

‘I’m not, I’m just saying, you know stereotypes, besides Murder she wrote wasn’t any better, Jessica Fletcher probably sent lesbians down.

‘Sent them down where?’

‘Doesn’t matter Mum, hey I wonder what would happen if the BBC commissioned a programme like ‘Big Brother’ but for lesbians?

It could be called… ‘Big Lesbians.’

‘I don’t think they’d show it on the BBC love, can you pass me the remote?’

She was right, but there was always….

Channel 5.

16/11/2020