Happy New Year Mum!

‘Happy New Year Queen.’

Or should I say ‘Happy 77 Years In Total?’ You smashed them all from 1943 to 2021, and I was so fortunate to be there with you for the ride of your life Mum, well for a big chunk of that time. How lucky was I?

‘I know, how fortunate was I too, having a son and daughter for the majority of my life? You both made me so happy, I was incredibly blessed. So what’s 2022 like so far Love?’

Feels a bit weird if I’m honest, I know we are only 5 minutes into it but I’m officially without a parent guardian now and that changes things moving forward I know.

I have this new found feeling of total independence. I thought I was independent before but it turns out I wasn’t really, not completely. I don’t feel empty and lost though strangely enough, I actually feel empowered, I feel excited about this year coming up and the future years ahead, are there lots more of them Mum?

‘Oh there are decades of them my Love, don’t you worry. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, there’s so much more to experience and I’m excited to be able to watch what’s going on from up here.’

I’m glad you’re watching Mum, knowing that is healing me.

‘How are your grieving pains?’

On the whole, a lot milder if I’m honest, I have the occasional flare up still, that knocks me for six and sends me back upstairs to bed but they have become fewer and far between over the last couple of months.

‘I’m pleased to hear that Love, how are the headaches and tightening feeling across your chest? Any better?’

Loads better thanks.

‘Ooh that’s good, how about the drinking and extra weight gain, are you getting those more under control?’

I’m 13 Stone.

‘Right, you need to cut back, that’s not good.’

I know, I’m carrying a little too much grieving weight but I’ve started ‘Dry January’ today.

‘Is that another symptom of early menopause?’

Eww Mum, no!! It means I’m knocking booze on the head for a month and hoping to reintroduce it gradually and more sensibly. I’ve joined a gym and I’m hoping to shed some of these extra stones, they kind of crept up on me while I was blubbering away in your dressing gown and eating Lesbian Biscuits.

‘You’ll do it Love, eat less, move more that’s all you have to do.’

You’re right, I’m going to start moving more, I need to kickstart my metabolism and increase my energy levels again.

‘I think that’s a great idea, in the meantime, I’ve got some 16/18 jumpers in my bottom drawer.’

Thanks Mum, the Red Cross have made good use of those already.

‘Oh yes of course, never mind, well, get going then, lying in bed writing to me won’t kickstart your metabolism, jump up and start your New Year’s Day.’

Ok I’m up, fancy a power walk along the canal with me?

‘You’re on, just let me get my coat.’

Love as always,

Queen x
01/01/22